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No, the last part, the thing about dating “losers.” It’s a testament to just how useless TED talks are, because people have been telling women that their boyfriends are losers forever. Men are expected to have a sense of direction and ambition more or less from birth, so much so that most women will list “ambition” right under “sense of humor” on a list of vague qualities they seek out in a romantic partner.I’m guessing there are other readers out there that feel this way, especially when both people are working in the same field, firm, company, etc.How do we deal with this competitive nature so that it doesn’t destruct an otherwise perfectly good relationship?Were someone to call a woman a “loser” for being, say, a career grad student or some kind of lowbrow service professional, I feel it would be met with cries of “Hey, at least she’s trying! ” Of course, the joke’s on them, because justifying someone’s career choice undermines that person’s freedom of choice, and chastising one group for judging another while encouraging the same thing among your own group is the very opposite of equality.Unfashionable as it may be, I’m going to go ahead and say that, in 2013, men need to stop dating losers. When women deride a man as being a “useless loser,” what they really seem to be complaining about is someone who blindly, uncompromisingly places his own prerogatives above all else, often at the expense of others.He's cute, fun, smart and you can't stop thinking about him. These are signs that he will likely be very cheap throughout the duration of the relationship. There is a difference between loving sports and having a childish obsession with them. If he truly cares about you, his good behaviors will grow stronger. Anyone, regardless of gender, who asks for help paying bills early on in a relationship should raise red flags. By paying for him early on, you are setting the tone that it will be this way for your entire future. Some men with no ambition whatsoever like to talk up a good game, but at the end of the day, they are just saying what they know women want to hear. Some men may not like being tied down to a phone, but responding to your text messages or phone calls shouldn't be annoying; it's common courtesy and respect.
The alternative is waking up one day down the road divorced with five kids and fifty thousand dollars in debt, watching re-runs of "Honey Boo Boo" on Nick at Nite. But the truth is, as much as we often ignore the warning signs of a potentially bad relationship early on in the dating process, these issues don't go away. So, instead of jumping into that long-term relationship with a man you suspect may be wrong for you, let's take a look at fifteen types of guys to avoid getting into long-term relationships with in the first place.
One of those insufferable TED talks was making the rounds last week. Not once, though, have I ever heard someone tell a man, “Dude, why are you dating her?
The gist of it was that 30 is not the new 20, and that grown women really ought to be getting their sh*t together in their 20s. Don’t refuse to get a full-time job as an excuse to figure out who you are. She’s such a loser.” The more I think about why, the more depressing the can of worms becomes (and a can full of worms should be depressing enough on its own).
It’s also (sadly) kind of presumed that men will settle down as they age and choose higher quality women, as though it’s a concept we as men had the good sense to invent and that the womenfolk would never figure out were it not for our guidance.
Additionally, despite tolerating men calling women all sorts of awful things for centuries, society, curiously enough, won’t stand for men referring to women as “losers” or “useless.” I’ve just never heard it.