The disappearing act dating
Has your latest leading man disappeared without a trace? Weeks went by and I could not shake my anger and self-doubt.
He stopped texting, stopped calling and you are left to fill in the blanks. Then one day his daily "Good morning" text was missing from my inbox and I spent the rest of the day staring at my phone, distracted in sincere worry that something was amiss. Too-Good-To-Be-True ignored my check-in call and before I could fabricate horrendous stories of his whereabouts, I noticed he was cheerfully posting on Facebook and obviously alive and well.
'Why He Disappeared' is exactly what I would have wanted to write if I were a man...
Evan tells it to us straight - with humor, with passion, and in a way that will stick with you - that will actually make a huge difference for you.
Slash told me he's doing the slow fade one more time this week: "It's been four days since I contacted her - after having consistent contact during the entire 2 months…in the past four days her text messages, emails and voice mail messages are starting to add up." When I asked him why he wasn't responding he said, "It feels easier to just disappear."So are we cowards for pulling the slow fade? I talked to a friend who slept with his girlfriend's best friend and knew that if (when) she found out it would get messy so he ran off into the night.
What happens is this: The guy knows it's time to break up but—thinking he's a gentle soul—he doesn't want to hurt anyone. We love to avoid the issue ("we" being a good many of us, not just men I believe).
We women have been sold the lie for so long that we have no power in relationships - and Evan turns that lie around and gives you your power back.
He texts you the next day to say he had fun, and instantly makes plans for the following Friday evening. He checks in during the week – a call here, an email there – not too needy, not too distant. I shared in Sandy’s pain, then informed her that she could respond in 1 of 2 ways: 1) She could be devastated that Mr. 2) She could realize that she’d never even MET this man. Anyone in her right mind would draw the same conclusion.
Going off the notion that we all want to run, is that the number one thing we want to run from is an uncomfortable situation: "the talk." It's awkward and uncomfortable and if we can run from that with a relatively clean conscience we will.
If you want to avoid the slow fade, just be straight-forward with the people you date and communicate how much you value honesty.
You want to know why your heart gets broken each time a new guy disappears?
It’s not because you’re a fool for believing that good men exist. He seemed so great, so perfect, so kind, so consistent. If this story feels familiar to you, it’s because it’s familiar to EVERYONE.
Now a seasoned veteran of the disappearing game, I was not buying it.